Lapbogcip is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, omniscient warg.

Lapbogcip created the Sun eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lapbogcip, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Lapbogcip, it will turn you into a goat.

Lapbogcip's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Lapbogcip's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not wear violet clothing.