Gemcarkin is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, selfish lion.

Gemcarkin created the world eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemcarkin, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gemcarkin, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Gemcarkin's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Gemcarkin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not eat aubergines.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Feed all hungry badgers.

5. Otters are unholy and should not be approached.