Nurlzogrul is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, witless gnu.

Nurlzogrul created Africa two billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlzogrul, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nurlzogrul, he will destroy your home solar system.

Nurlzogrul's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Nurlzogrul's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at moons.

2. Do not kill cats.

3. Hide if seven ants approach from the west.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.