Dibxentartam is a god.

He takes the form of a large, vain fish.

Dibxentartam created humanity six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dibxentartam, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dibxentartam, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Dibxentartam's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Dibxentartam's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never eat cherries.

3. Always make sure there are no mites in a room before entering it.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never write about gravity.