Quartlincib is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, strong finch.

Quartlincib created a Higgs boson three million years ago.

If you believe in Quartlincib, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Quartlincib, he will turn you into a rock.

Quartlincib's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Quartlincib's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Quartlincib.

2. Quartlincib loves gulls, so they must be honoured.

3. Run away if nine otters approach from the south.

4. Moths are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always make sure there are no sheep in a building before entering it.