Dumkamfar is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, humorless walrus.

Dumkamfar created viruses four years ago.

If you believe in Dumkamfar, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Dumkamfar, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Dumkamfar's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Dumkamfar's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not shave your hands.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never talk about planets.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.