Flispogbitnak Jarnjintiktal is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, tranquil rhinoceros.

Flispogbitnak Jarnjintiktal created the Sunflower Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flispogbitnak Jarnjintiktal, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Flispogbitnak Jarnjintiktal, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Flispogbitnak Jarnjintiktal's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Flispogbitnak Jarnjintiktal's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat sheep with great respect.

2. Always look after injured otters.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flispogbitnak Jarnjintiktal.

5. Never wear turquoise kilts.