Flatwitcep is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, overgenerous butterfly.

Flatwitcep created water six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatwitcep, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Flatwitcep, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Flatwitcep's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Flatwitcep's Holy Commandments

1. Eagles are not to be trusted.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Doves are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always help foxes in need.

5. Never think about gravity.