Faslistquaftap is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, passionate gerbil.

Faslistquaftap created a quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Faslistquaftap, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Faslistquaftap, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Faslistquaftap's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Faslistquaftap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Erect a large gold sculpture of Faslistquaftap on top of all buildings.

3. Never laugh in holy places.

4. Erect four zinc sculptures of Faslistquaftap on top of important buildings.

5. Faslistquaftap loves doves, so they must be respected.