Kabqueegcen Wonlip is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, smart newt.

Kabqueegcen Wonlip created the cosmos three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabqueegcen Wonlip, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Kabqueegcen Wonlip, it will boil you in a big pot.

Kabqueegcen Wonlip's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Kabqueegcen Wonlip's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mice.

2. Retreat if four dogs approach from the west.

3. Never wear violet hats.

4. Do not wear platinum on your body.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.