Fatlaknig is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, two-faced capybara.

Fatlaknig created vertebrates nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fatlaknig, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Fatlaknig, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Fatlaknig's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Fatlaknig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Run away from blue manatees, for they are unholy.