Fedteenbum is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, clever turtle.

Fedteenbum created the Sombrero Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fedteenbum, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Fedteenbum, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Fedteenbum's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Fedteenbum's Holy Commandments

1. Fedteenbum loves geese, so they must be respected.

2. Always obey Fedteenbum's priests.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not wear orange clothing.