Femjenwab is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, unselfish shark.

Femjenwab created dark matter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Femjenwab, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Femjenwab, she will destroy your home planet.

Femjenwab's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Femjenwab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never jump in the presence of moths.

3. Hide from pink horses for they are unholy.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.