Zagfasnutt Giglinsisfattimjadfot is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, sapient gorilla.

Zagfasnutt Giglinsisfattimjadfot created dark matter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Zagfasnutt Giglinsisfattimjadfot, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Zagfasnutt Giglinsisfattimjadfot, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Zagfasnutt Giglinsisfattimjadfot's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Zagfasnutt Giglinsisfattimjadfot's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about amino acids.

2. Never wear turquoise skirts.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate doves.

4. Do not wear silicon on your body.

5. Never hurt pigs.