Armvilken is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, selfish ant.

Armvilken created vertebrates seven million years ago.

If you believe in Armvilken, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Armvilken, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Armvilken's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Armvilken's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

4. Armvilken loves hamsters, so they must be respected.

5. Never feed onions to voles while wearing purple shirts.