Jenquagwod is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, intelligent bear.

Jenquagwod created viruses nine million years ago.

If you believe in Jenquagwod, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Jenquagwod, she will turn you into a tree.

Jenquagwod's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Jenquagwod's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed coconuts to voles while wearing green shorts.

2. Never talk about black holes.

3. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

4. You must pray to Jenquagwod five times a day.

5. Jenquagwod loves seals, so they must be respected.