Voggilfudhan is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, resourceful aardvark.

Voggilfudhan created life seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Voggilfudhan, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Voggilfudhan, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Voggilfudhan's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Voggilfudhan's Holy Commandments

1. Frogs are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Do not covet oxen.