Titpomflap is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, merciless guinea pig.

Titpomflap created an electron four million years ago.

If you believe in Titpomflap, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Titpomflap, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Titpomflap's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Titpomflap's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate snakes.

2. Never write about comets.

3. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Do not dye your hair orange.

5. Hide from magenta bats for they are unholy.