Garpitsid is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, strong crab.

Garpitsid created a photon three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Garpitsid, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Garpitsid, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Garpitsid's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Garpitsid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about planets.

2. Never think about cell theory.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not wear nickel on your body.

5. Never feed figs to nematodes while wearing blue scarves.