Bumcubpin is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, witty human.

Bumcubpin created the Cigar Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Bumcubpin, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bumcubpin, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Bumcubpin's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Bumcubpin's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Bumcubpin's priests.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bumcubpin.

4. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

5. Always stare at clouds.