Zogbabven is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, happy hamster.

Zogbabven created energy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zogbabven, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Zogbabven, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Zogbabven's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Zogbabven's Holy Commandments

1. Put Zogbabven first in all things.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Always wear white.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never wear kilts.