Godlarnyok is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, overgenerous swan.

Godlarnyok created gold six billion years ago.

If you believe in Godlarnyok, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Godlarnyok, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Godlarnyok's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Godlarnyok's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into red rooms.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not hurt bats.

4. Always treat badgers with great respect.

5. Never hurt doves.