Latfenbid is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, flying crab.

Latfenbid created the Milkyway two billion years ago.

If you believe in Latfenbid, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Latfenbid, he will torture you forever.

Latfenbid's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Latfenbid's Holy Commandments

1. Latfenbid must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Latfenbid loves porpoises, so they must be honoured.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Latfenbid on top of all buildings.