Jadvadcuss is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, two-faced raccoon.

Jadvadcuss created oxygen eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jadvadcuss, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Jadvadcuss, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Jadvadcuss' most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Jadvadcuss' Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Jadvadcuss five times a day.

2. Never talk about snakes.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Hide if four eagles approach from the east.