Cetmisdan is a god.

She takes the form of a small, staggering mink.

Cetmisdan created the Cigar Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Cetmisdan, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cetmisdan, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Cetmisdan's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Cetmisdan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Do not hurt mites.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never eat bark.