Flanvigjat is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, almighty ferret.

Flanvigjat created the cosmos six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flanvigjat, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Flanvigjat, she will try to impress you with trees.

Flanvigjat's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Flanvigjat's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Flanvigjat on top of all buildings.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Run away from white aardvarks, for they are unholy.

4. Never paint your face brown.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.