Gepmutlarn is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, egotistical hydra.

Gepmutlarn created a quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Gepmutlarn, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gepmutlarn, he will come to you in dreams.

Gepmutlarn's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Gepmutlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gepmutlarn.

3. Never think ill of sick grasshopers.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not kill great tits.