Hogloopdag is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, slow porpoise.

Hogloopdag created matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hogloopdag, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Hogloopdag, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Hogloopdag's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Hogloopdag's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a room before entering it.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Hogloopdag loves porpoises, so they must be respected.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.