Tomyartetti is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, weak dove.

Tomyartetti created water six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tomyartetti, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tomyartetti, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tomyartetti's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Tomyartetti's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never sit in the presence of birds.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never think ill of sick grasshopers.