Ponnabgam is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, generous rhinoceros.

Ponnabgam created a quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ponnabgam, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Ponnabgam, she will turn you into a hamster.

Ponnabgam's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Ponnabgam's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Ponnabgam.

3. Never wear yellow shoes.

4. Never hurt seals.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.