Cabzakcuss is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, egotistical parrot.

Cabzakcuss created an up quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cabzakcuss, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Cabzakcuss, he will turn you into a frog.

Cabzakcuss' most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Cabzakcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. You must love Cabzakcuss.

5. Cabzakcuss loves ants, so they must be honoured.