Mabgepfed Xuckarpib is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, confident eagle.

Mabgepfed Xuckarpib created life eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mabgepfed Xuckarpib, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Mabgepfed Xuckarpib, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Mabgepfed Xuckarpib's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Mabgepfed Xuckarpib's Holy Commandments

1. Mabgepfed Xuckarpib loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.

2. Never talk about snails.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Mabgepfed Xuckarpib.

4. Run away if three swans approach from the west.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.