Fligpomtammapcip is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, compassionate crab.

Fligpomtammapcip created a down quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fligpomtammapcip, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fligpomtammapcip, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Fligpomtammapcip's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Fligpomtammapcip's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Fligpomtammapcip.

2. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

3. Hide if nine otters approach from the south.

4. Do not hurt capybaras.

5. Fligpomtammapcip loves voles, so they must be respected.