Barnquamcap is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, dishonest donkey.

Barnquamcap created gold two billion years ago.

If you believe in Barnquamcap, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Barnquamcap, it will destroy your home planet.

Barnquamcap's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Barnquamcap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never talk about birds.

3. Feed all hungry nematodes.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snakes.