Bemkadwikdib is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, fussy dugong.

Bemkadwikdib created the Sombrero Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemkadwikdib, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bemkadwikdib, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Bemkadwikdib's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Bemkadwikdib's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never wear shoes.

5. Never eat green fruit.