Arpaftun Dosstunfen is a god.

She takes the form of a small, wise lobster.

Arpaftun Dosstunfen created viruses seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arpaftun Dosstunfen, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Arpaftun Dosstunfen, she will turn you into a frog.

Arpaftun Dosstunfen's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Arpaftun Dosstunfen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never think ill of sick foxes.

4. Do not sit in public.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.