Veengidham is a god.

It takes the form of a large, benevolent hydra.

Veengidham created the planet Jupiter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Veengidham, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Veengidham, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Veengidham's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Veengidham's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not shave your back.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Veengidham loves nematodes, so they must be respected.

5. Feed all hungry tortoises.