Gebarmcab is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, ill-tempered deer.

Gebarmcab created the Sun four million years ago.

If you believe in Gebarmcab, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gebarmcab, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Gebarmcab's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Gebarmcab's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Worship no other gods but Gebarmcab.

3. Never look at black holes.

4. Never feed gooseberries to horses while wearing indigo shoes.

5. Always look after injured manatees.