Vegwigflow is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, pitiless crab.

Vegwigflow created Mount Everest five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vegwigflow, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Vegwigflow, she will remove you from existence.

Vegwigflow's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Vegwigflow's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from fawn dogs for they are unholy.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. You must love Vegwigflow.