Karkonmon Fitvonkad is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, vain alligator.

Karkonmon Fitvonkad created life four years ago.

If you believe in Karkonmon Fitvonkad, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Karkonmon Fitvonkad, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Karkonmon Fitvonkad's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Karkonmon Fitvonkad's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Karkonmon Fitvonkad.

2. Never talk about stars.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never think about cell theory.