Lunkarnat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, narcissistic scorpion.

Lunkarnat created silver four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lunkarnat, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Lunkarnat, she will turn you into a slug.

Lunkarnat's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Lunkarnat's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never think ill of sick foxes.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never feed onions to frogs while wearing turquoise jumpers.

5. Feed all hungry gulls.