Tikfetxem is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, self-assured newt.

Tikfetxem created the Sun eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tikfetxem, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tikfetxem, he will turn you into a duck.

Tikfetxem's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Tikfetxem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair gray.

2. Tikfetxem loves sharks, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not hurt badgers.

5. Respect your elders.