Nillbutzedcub is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, humorless whale.

Nillbutzedcub created gold two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nillbutzedcub, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Nillbutzedcub, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Nillbutzedcub's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Nillbutzedcub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always help sick badgers.

3. Erect five zinc sculptures of Nillbutzedcub on top of important buildings.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always pray immersed in water.