Tomnillbog is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, strong eagle.

Tomnillbog created an up quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tomnillbog, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tomnillbog, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Tomnillbog's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Tomnillbog's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Tomnillbog six times a day.

2. Hide from white tortoises for they are unholy.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not chop down trees.