Zimgonhit is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, narcissistic dog.

Zimgonhit created the world three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimgonhit, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Zimgonhit, he will send minions to preach to you.

Zimgonhit's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Zimgonhit's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never think about cell theory.

3. Always look after injured great tits.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Never bounce in the presence of voles.