Cippiddot is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, thoughtless skunk.

Cippiddot created dark energy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Cippiddot, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Cippiddot, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Cippiddot's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Cippiddot's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five capybaras approach from the south.

2. Put Cippiddot first in all things.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Dogs are unholy and should not be approached.