Bendimzan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, amazing wren.

Bendimzan created a photon two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bendimzan, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bendimzan, he will turn you into a slug.

Bendimzan's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Bendimzan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never think ill of sick manatees.

3. Bendimzan loves pigs, so they must be honoured.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. You must love Bendimzan.