Quimfebjam is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, overgenerous lion.

Quimfebjam created the Virgo Supercluster eight million years ago.

If you believe in Quimfebjam, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Quimfebjam, he will turn you into a puffin.

Quimfebjam's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Quimfebjam's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into yellow rooms.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Run away if three great tits approach from the east.

4. Do not take Quimfebjam's name in vain.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.