Quillcadfutfen is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, fussy dingo.

Quillcadfutfen created the Black Eye Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quillcadfutfen, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Quillcadfutfen, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Quillcadfutfen's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Quillcadfutfen's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Put Quillcadfutfen first in all things.

3. Never feed strawberries to mice while wearing red trousers.

4. Always look after injured pigs.

5. Never talk about nebulae.