Volgilhak is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, flying monkey.

Volgilhak created dark matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Volgilhak, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Volgilhak, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Volgilhak's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Volgilhak's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear hats.

2. Hide from mauve geese for they are unholy.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Volgilhak.